


Draws Me Too Near

by ajremix



Series: Like the Sun in My Mouth [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2691236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajremix/pseuds/ajremix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love from beginning to beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Draws Me Too Near

When Stahl invited her into town to look for ingredients for Chrom's birthday present together, Jesslyn hadn't expected him to wear anything other than his armor. She realized, belatedly and rather foolishly to be honest, that she hadn't even considered he wore anything else.

"Is something the matter?" He asked in that warm, friendly manner that seemed almost unreal in its authenticity.

Not wanting to admit she'd only just now realized she'd been assuming Stahl slept in full plate, Jesslyn said, "You're smaller outside the armor," then winced both at stating the obvious and the unintended insult.

He just shrugged it off with a smile and laugh. "I hear that a lot, actually. Armor really has a way of exaggerating size." Not that he was a small man, the tactician noted objectively. Standing next to him she'd guess he was still taller and broader shouldered than Chrom, just not to the extent the armor made him seem. In fact, without it, he seemed almost lanky.

It was actually a bit of a novelty, Stahl without his armor. Jesslyn couldn't stop darting glances at him as they walked, cataloging all the differences she could find and started wondering what some of the others looked like outside of theirs- Sully would probably still be larger than life but would Fredrick still seem as solid? She tried to imagine Kellam not being swallowed up in his armor but got caught up trying to remember what he looked like at all.

"If I knew it'd distract you so much, I'd have worn the armor."

Jesslyn's eyes jerked up to meet Stahl's and she realized she'd fallen several lengths behind. She flushed deeply, quickening her pace until she was at his side again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable at all, I just hope milady isn't disappointed that she's not being escorted around town by a proper knight."

"Oh stop, that armor is hardly what makes you a proper knight."

"Very kind of you to say. Still, I know I'm not exactly impressive without it."

Jesslyn very nearly stepped in front of him with her hands on her hips. "What in the world would make you say that?" It certainly couldn't have been because of anyone with sense- no one could do what he did on a daily basis and not have an impressive physique to go with it. The light tunic he wore hardly did a thing to hide that either, if all those young village ladies craning their heads Jesslyn saw out of the corner of her eye were anything to go by.

"I have no illusions as to what I am," he said simply. "I'm a very plain, unassuming looking fellow."

"Then it's a good thing I know what a kind-hearted and brave person you are. I couldn't find a more proper knight inside a story."

That time it was Stahl ducking his head to flush. "I... thank you for saying so."

"I'm not merely saying."

"I know. You don't seem the type to engage in idle flattery." He steered them towards a rather fancy looking herbalist store, holding open the door. "My lady."

"Jesslyn is fine," she replied as she entered. "'My lady' makes me sound... important."

"Have we switched self-effacing duties?" Stahl teased.

She couldn't help chuckling in reply. "I meant that we're equals. Friends. So titles like 'my lady' aren't needed."

"Very well, Jesslyn." He rolled her name on his tongue, seeming to like the shape of it. Jesslyn would've been lying if she said she didn't like the way it sounded on his lips, either.

The store owner called out a greeting and Stahl approached the counter with a smile and a long roll of paper pulled from a pouch. As they discussed ingredients and quantities, Jesslyn explored the store, reading the names of each item displayed. They ranged from powder to dried, liquid to preserved, even a small section of parts from local insects and wild game. Jesslyn wondered if there were any books back in camp that went into herbalism. It seemed a rather curious field. She was studying what seemed like a pickled organ of some sort when Stahl called out to her. "I have everything set if you're ready to pay your half."

Her long coat swirled as she made her way back to the counter resolutely. "Absolutely not. You'll be doing the work making the actual tonic so I insist on paying for the ingredients."

Stahl, however, just seemed amused as he inclined his head toward the bill, "Are you certain about that?"

One look at the number scrawled at the bottom made Jesslyn wince even for her considerable purse. "...perhaps three-quarters?"

Her companion laughed and, even if it was at her expense so to speak, she had to admit it could certainly brighten a room. "50-50 and you can assist me with preparations?"

She tried to hide her relief. "Very well. You drive a hard bargain, good sir."

"I prefer to think 'fair'."

They paid for their items, bundled them into packages and upon leaving the store Jesslyn couldn't help saying "No wonder you were looking for financial aid. What was this tonic to do again?"

"It's essentially an energy booster. Thankfully the recipe creates a fair amount- it normally takes Chrom the better part of a year to use it all but then we'd never been as active as we have recently so..."

"Sounds extremely useful. I think I could use a batch myself were it not so expensive to make."

Stahl chuckled and Jesslyn couldn't help finding something very comforting in the way he smiled. It seemed so easy for him to do it, like he wrapped it up in a blanket so cozy and familiar she could feel warmth just looking at him. "I don't make it that often due to expense and when I do, I normally get at least one or two of the other Shepherds to pitch in. But it seemed like this year he'd really be in need of it."

"I think it's very considerate of you." With their hands full, Jesslyn swayed over just enough to nudge him with her shoulder. "And thank you for letting me be of help."

"I assure you, the pleasure is all mine."

~*~*~*~

It was surprising to see Jesslyn by herself in the mess tent though not so much to see her with her head bent over a book, her empty dishes stacked neatly on a tray. It looked like she was flipping through the army roster, making notations in a notebook already covered in half-legible words and diagrams. It always amazed Stahl how her brain seemed to constantly be planning, adjusting, picking out every little detail to keep their army one step ahead in battle.

He stepped to the table opposite her, movement drawing her attention away from her notes. He smiled when Jesslyn's eyes lit up in recognition, "Mind if I join you?"

"By all means, be my guest." She eyed his piled-on tray with amusement but then most people did. It was either that or disbelief no matter how many times they've seen him eat. It was the main reason why Stahl was generally one of the last people to eat meals- it gave everyone else a chance to have their fill before he finished off the rest.

"I was actually hoping to run into you," he said, setting his food down before reaching into a pouch at his side and drawing out a bottle slightly larger than his palm. "This is for you."

"Oh? What is it?"

"It's some of that tonic I made for Chrom. It doesn't take much for it to work, but there's only about three or four drinks in there."

Jesslyn looked up from the bottle in something almost like awe. "That's very sweet of you to think of me."

A flush of heat crept its way across Stahl's cheeks and he ruffled his hair with an embarrassed laugh. "Not really- you said it would be useful and you work just as hard as he does."

"Don't make excuses," she said, smirking at him, "just accept the compliment."

"Well, you're welcome then."

She rolled the bottle between her hands, toying with the stopper and listening to the contents sloshing quietly. "I have to wonder how it's possible someone can be as conscientious as you."

"I suppose it helps that my father always told me that an apothecary's duty was to help people," he replied, spreading jam across a couple slices of bread. "I like being helpful; people being happy makes me happy."

"So how did someone learning apothecary become a knight?"

The knife waved, as if trying to dismiss the question, "It's not actually that interesting a story."

Jesslyn leaned forward on her elbows, one ankle hooked behind the other. "I'm asking anyway, if you don't mind."

"It... was because of Fredrick, actually. There was a tournament- more of a recruitment drive, really -where I lived."

"You saw him competing and was inspired?" She asked with a smile. "That's rather cute."

"Fredrick didn't compete at all, actually. Back then, I kind of resented knights and soldiers. I was old enough to remember the last few years of the war with Plegia and even in the suburbs of Ylisstol, life got pretty rough. I remember my father working through the night, trying to find ways to help the sick even when he was running low on ingredients." He trailed for a moment, caught up in memories of his father giving away medicine to those that couldn't afford it, even when his own family was barely scraping by. He was brought out of it when Jesslyn reached across the table and held his hand. He smiled at her, getting back to his story. "I hadn't even meant to go to the tournament, was just running errands and I saw him in the center of a crowd, a grubby kid in one hand and an angry merchant screaming at them both because the kid stole a line of sausages. Fredrick just let him rant, then he paid for the food out of his own pocket. Then he turned around and gave the kid more money and she burst into tears thanking him."

Jesslyn squeezed Stahl's fingers against her palm. "That does sound like Fredrick."

"It left such an impression on me I decided to become a knight when I was old enough. I was shocked to see Fredrick at the training garrison, even more so when he remembered me and decided to train me personally- which was how I met Sully." He chuckled low, "Apparently I was the only one that's ever talked to him about being a knight without ever asking about fighting."

"So you were inspired by chivalry rather than glory?" Her smile was so soft and warm that Stahl felt his heart trip up momentarily. "The more I get to know you the more you seem a like a knight from a story."

He ducked his head a bit, running hand through his hair as he face heated up. "Heh, I'll leave the glory to people like Sully who wants to topple legends."

"I think your way is just as ambitious, albeit in a different way."

"I guess. It doesn't seem like a good day if I haven't helped at least one person."

She squeezed his hand again. "You truly are the sweetest, kindest person, Stahl. I'm privileged to consider you a friend." She stood, taking her tray and things with her. "I'll leave you to eat. Thank you again for the tonic."

As Stahl watched her leave, he wondered just when he heart first began racing.

~*~*~*~

If not in council with Chrom or reading in her own tent, Jesslyn was generally found by the training fields even when she wasn't training herself. She would watch the others, plans formulating in her head and sometimes she'd call them over to discuss ideas, tactics, the things they felt confident in doing. She'd been going over possible training regimens with Cordelia who was wanting to branch out more, tired of having to hang back as the number of archers they faced in battle grew, when Lon'qu came out to the field. Basilio's former champion had been as much a fixture in the training fields as Jesslyn was but ever since Emmeryn's death he'd become more receptive to those asking him to teach his skills. What was surprising, however, was the fact that Stahl, in simple breeches and tunic, was the one he was facing.

"Uh-oh," Cordelia said with wry amusement, "Sully's going to go spare."

"I thought he'd gotten over his woman aversion since he started training you."

"More like shout at me from across the field." She sighed in resignation, both forgetting their earlier conversation as the two men limbered up to spar. "He's gotten better about it, but I don't know if it's him getting used to being around women or just used to being around me."

Jesslyn sucked in a breath between her teeth. "That's true. I was still reduced to throwing things at him in training two days ago."

"Maybe if we got all the women in camp to pester him, he'll be completely desensitized."

"Or his head might explode." She gave Cordelia a sly look. "We should get Miriel in on this. She'll make it 'scientific'."

She laughed, "You may secretly be a horrible person!"

"It can be fun on occasion."

They lapsed into silence as Lon'qu began his teaching lesson as he always did: by using his superior speed and swordsmanship to knock his opponent on their ass. Stahl, even with his strong defensive style and slight speed boost from not being weighed down by heavy armor, fell before Lon'qu's onslaught just as all the others before him did. Jesslyn could see the knight's awe even from where he was sprawled across the field. Next to her, Cordelia hummed thoughtfully.

"Even without the armor, his stance is very formal," she said as the two faced off again. "Of course he's been a knight since before I joined the pegasus knights. It'll take some time and effort to break that habit."

It was obvious what she meant. Although his defense was tight, Stahl tended to allow blows through that his armor would've easily deflected. The women hissed simultaneously when Lon'qu landed a blow to the shoulder that left Stahl cursing and shaking out his numbed arm.

"I don't envy how much pain he'll be in tomorrow. I was sore all over just from the exercises Lon'qu instructed me through. Being on the receiving end of his sword must be ten times worse."

On the field, Lon'qu was pointing at Stahl's feet, then tapped at his shins with the blade of his practice sword- he wasn't being mobile enough, if Jesslyn had to guess. Stahl nodded and readied himself again, favoring one arm slightly, stance less rooted and more aggressive. It seemed to satisfy the former champion who stood opposite and readied his own weapon.

Each round went much the same, Lon'qu winning soundly, then instructing Stahl on his stance or demonstrating an attack or how to shift balance and Stahl would follow suit. During each round, Stahl would last a little longer, react a little quicker and he was starting to prove just how dangerous average could really be. Because while he had no outstanding strengths, it also meant he had no outstanding weaknesses. It made him adaptable and versatile and Jesslyn watched as he began to pick up Lon'qu's fluidity, moving his body in ways his cumbersome cavalier armor would have never allowed. It not only allowed him to block all of Lon'qu's attacks, it also gave Stahl the room to start attacking back.

His attacks were still predominately straightforward, the angles not right for copying a myrmidon's quick, flowing strikes and lacking leverage to do any actual damage. Lon'qu wove between the blows with little difficulty, striking back more to test how quick Stahl could switch between offense and defense than to actually hit him. Then, so suddenly Jesslyn almost missed the act, Stahl flipped his sword in a reverse grip, lunging forward and had Lon'qu not leapt backwards the blow would've knocked the breath right out of him if not injured a rib or two. Instead the tip of the practice sword merely snagged the edge of his robe, tugging it slightly out of place and even from that distance Jesslyn could see the move satisfied the stoic man.

It seemed somewhat unintuitive; a person with more confidence and pride in their skills would've gotten frustrated at their inability to land a solid blow on Lon'qu yet, but Stahl was so convinced of his non-excellence that he saw it as reinforcing what he already knew: that he still had a ways to improve. He didn't cheer or tsk at the near-hit, just remained focused and sharp as Lon'qu settled into an offensive stance.

"Intense tactics planning, I see."

Jesslyn damn near jumped out of her skin. "Chrom! For the love of- you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

The hum he made as he sat was of the utmost seriousness except for all the ways it was mocking. "Very intense."

She sighed and looked around. Cordelia was no where to be seen and Jesslyn hadn't even noticed- oh, that was embarrassing. In order to cover that realization up, she cleared her throat and asked with mustered dignity, "Did you need something?"

"Just wondering what ideas have cropped up in that crafty mind of yours. Though considering how your face is flushing, I'm beginning to suspect I didn't break your planning sessions but rather caught you daydreaming about talented, attractive and available young knights."

The conversation was quickly taking a turn for the gods-please-don't-do-this-to-me. "In the unlikely event I _was_ daydreaming, what makes you think it's a knight that's gotten my attention?"

"Because I don't think you've looked at Lon'qu once since I got here."

"I was paying attention to both," she insisted, hoping her cheeks weren't as flushed as Chrom implied- or felt.

"Of course you were. That's why you'd know what color his sword belt is."

"Red," slipped out immediately.

Chrom's mouth quirked slightly. "I didn't mean Stahl's."

It took an exorbitant amount of will to keep her eyes from flickering to the field and Jesslyn had to rack her memory for the color Lon'qu wore. "Brown."

The quirk stretched to a full out grin. "He's not wearing a sword belt."

Jesslyn tried salvaging her dignity with a glare. "Did you come here just to tease me?"

"Absolutely not! I came to encourage you."

Her eyes cut towards him skeptically. "Is now really the best time to encourage your tactician to chase after your knights?"

"My tactician? Perhaps not. But for my friend, definitely. And only one knight in particular. Multiple may cause complications we can't afford." Chrom huffed, looking at her with a soft smile. "Really, though. Why didn't you tell me you're attracted to Stahl?"

"I'm not! Well... maybe, I don't know. We're still getting to know each other."

"Really? Because I have it on very good authority that you tend to lose focus whenever he's nearby." Jesslyn wanted to know just who this 'authority' was so she could be very cross with them, but honestly there had been far too many instances in which she'd done something foolish because she was paying attention to Stahl: Olivia catching her running into a tree, Libra mopping up a spill after she missed pouring tea into a cup, trailing off mid-sentence to Maribelle before completely forgetting what their conversation was about. Really, it wasn't that much of a surprise that everyone in camp seemed to have figured it out. "You know," Chrom said primly, "I have known him for a number of years. If you want to know anything he likely won't tell you himself..."

"Stahl is one of the most honest people I've met. What wouldn't he be willing to tell me?"

"Did he tell you tomorrow is his birthday?"

Her jaw fell open. "Are you serious?"

A rueful smile tugged at his lips. "I'm not surprised. Lissa had to tell me when it was, she found out from pestering Fredrick and _he_ only knew because Sully and Vaike were determined to take Stahl out drinking for his first birthday with the Shepherds."

"That's... rather shocking."

"Not so much for Stahl, really. He doesn't like telling people things about himself that might cause a hassle for others." He then commented dryly, "The fact that he considers his birthday a hassle, however..."

She looked back on the field where Lon'qu was correcting the angle for a move he was teaching Stahl. He was studious, focused, repeating the proper motion over and over until it was imprinted in his muscles. "We should do something for him. He's always helping people around camp, I'm sure they'd love to-"

"Really, Jesslyn. He doesn't even remind his good friends about his birthday. How do you think he'll react if suddenly the entire army knew?"

She sighed. "You're right. Still, I'd like to do something nice. Let him know that I appreciate him."

An eyebrow shot up knowingly, " _I_?"

Her cheeks went bright red. "As in a representative of all those who appreciate him 'I'."

"Of course."

"Oh- go break something."

"You know, Lissa's been determined to find out what Stahl's favorite food is and she's pretty certain she's figured it out. But if I should go break things..." Chrom trailed, slowly pushing himself to his feet like an old man whose back was acting up.

Jesslyn grabbed him by the cape and tugged him back down. "Maybe go break something a little later."

The fact that he was trying desperately not to laugh was so obvious Jesslyn nearly shoved him over. "She believes it's fried fig cakes. They're made from brevas, so they're mainly a seasonal treat. Luckily, his birthday happens to be in that particular season."

Jesslyn nodded, thinking about the town some of the other Shepherds mentioned on the other side of the river from their current camp. If she rode fast enough- fast for her, anyway -she could probably get there before the stores closed. "Fried fig cakes. Got it."

As she stood to leave Chrom stood with her, visibly wrestling about something on the tip of his tongue. "I'd rather not have to go behind his back but I think you should know that there have been women who have... used Stahl. To get close to other Shepherds." He grimaced, the memory a curdled thing in his mouth. "Mainly me, but Fredrick as well once or twice."

Jesslyn's shoulders went back and with it her entire body. "What? Why? I'm sorry, I don't mean to be insulting but why in the world..."

Chrom shook his head ruefully. "I can't claim to understand, myself. I don't mean to imply that you would do such a thing- or that such a thing would be necessary for you," he tossed her little grin, "I just thought you should know he's had that kind of experience in the past. It may make him... hesitant to pursue you."

She looked across the training field where both men had moved under the shade of a nearby tent, Lon'qu draining a flask of water, Stahl putting a balm on bruises already darkening his skin, lesson clearly over for the day. Turning back to Chrom, she asked, "What do you suggest I do?"

"Be obvious about your feelings. You know how perceptive he is, he'll realize your sincerity." He smiled encouragingly if not somewhat ruefully. "The trick is getting him to notice in the first place."

~*~*~*~

If there was one word to describe himself, Stahl would probably pick 'mild'. The kind of guy that could roll with just about any punch, see the sun shine through any rain and just about every other optimistic metaphor there was. Which probably doubled the distress he felt over his current situation.

"Wow. Ricken wasn't making that up, you really _are_ moping."

"Hi, Sully, come on in," he deadpanned, not bothering to lift his chin up from the table.

His best friend fell into the chair opposite him, still waiting to see if she should be amused or annoyed at Stahl's current attitude. "Alright, what's put the knot in your small clothes?"

"Jesslyn," was the miserable reply.

"What's wrong with Jesslyn?"

"There's nothing _wrong_ with her, it's just... she's been brushing and feeding Caramel every day, she's been leaving me cakes I've never seen before- which means she probably got them from Gaius so those can't be cheap -she's always stopping by to make sure I have everything I need." He ran his hands through his hair, clutching at the unruly strands. "No one's ever been this nice to me before and whenever she smiles at me I think my heart's going to burst in my chest and I can't even look her in the eyes now without my mind going completely blank." He sucked in a deep breath before all but wailing, "I think I'm in love with her, Sully. What am I going to do?"

His fellow knight huffed as if not entirely certain what _she_ was supposed to do with someone acting this pitiful. "Well, I can't blame ya. She is kinda amazing."

"Exactly! She's brilliant and kind and beautiful and everyone in camp loves her, but what do I have to offer? I'm the most average man here- ask Miriel, she ran tests!" He slumped over the table. "She'd be better off with Chrom. They spend a lot of time together anyway."

Sully gave a sigh so rough it sounded like she wanted to smack Stahl upside the head with it. "You may be the most ridiculously average person ever- emphasis on ridiculous -but she didn't ask me to spend an afternoon teaching her to take care of horses for Chrom."

"Chrom doesn't have a horse."

"Not the important part of that sentence, dipshit." She grabbed him by the gorget and shook him hard. "Get up. You wanna know if she likes you back, I'll just go ask her."

Stahl's head shot up, eyes wide with horror. " _Don't you dare_!"

"I always dare," she said with a shark grin. "Try and stop me."

The chase ended before it even began considering the two nearly ran over Jesslyn the moment they left the tent. The tactician stepped back in surprise, "Oh!" Her eyes darted from one knight to the other. When she saw Stahl, her lips curled into a little smile, "Good timing, I suppose. I was just looking for you."

"Funny, we were just looking for you," Sully replied. Stahl shouldered her out of the way before she could say more. Unfortunately that caused him to be the sole recipient of Jesslyn's attention. He met her eyes for a brief moment before cutting away, all words suddenly dying on his tongue.

"I noticed your sword belt was beginning to wear," she said, drawing his attention back with a belt she held in her outstretched hand. "I picked up another from the supply tent, but I wanted to make sure it was the correct size."

"Oh, um, thank you." Unsurprisingly, when Stahl secured it around his waist, the belt fit perfectly. He adjusted its positioning, getting it where it was most comfortable and suddenly Jesslyn was _right there_ in front of him, so close he could smell the floral Valmese soap she'd taken to using.

One of her hands was on his waist, tracing over the belt where the edge of a plate would eventually bite into it. "Hmm, that's what I thought. There must be a way to keep the armor from cutting through so quickly. There might be belts made of more durable material, I should ask Anna."

Then she raised her eyes to his and Stahl felt his heart stop. Gods, she was beautiful. Beautiful and warm and bright and right there and Stahl could just lean down and-

"Th-Thank you," he jerked back abruptly, dipping his head down and focusing on adjusting the new belt in an attempt to hide his burning face behind his bangs. "I really appreciate this. I gotta go... run some errands. See you later, Jesslyn." He all but bolted away, already wondering why the hell he did that.

"Wow," Sully said, catching up to him with long strides and a dry tone. "I haven't seen anyone that smooth since Gregor stopped shaving for three days."

Mortified at himself Stahl simply said, "Shut up."

"Seriously, she threw that opportunity at your feet and you backpedaled like a rookie in front of a charging war horse."

"Seriously, shut up."

~*~*~*~

Jesslyn liked to consider herself a pragmatic person. If something seemed beyond the scope of her ability, even with all her tricks and knowledge, she liked to imagine she would admit defeat and move on with grace and humility. This was a difficult thing to accomplish when just about everyone in camp came up to her within a four day span and ask if she was feeling okay because not only were they all aware, to her humiliation, of her attraction to Stahl, they were also aware, to her even greater humiliation, that she had taken to avoiding him.

She deflected their concern with the standard excuses: she'd been busy planning battles, she'd been making sure morale was up in camp, she'd been doing everything she'd already been doing that had nothing to do with a certain knight, just that she'd been doing more of it so she wouldn't have to dwell on what she was no longer doing. It was clear he didn't return her feelings; the more obvious she got about them, the more he avoided her and Jesslyn was not going to harass him.

The sound of someone moving outside of her tent made Jesslyn stifle a sigh. Just what she needed, another concerned compatriot come to inquire about her love life. Really it'd be a lot easier to get over the rejection were it not for all the people wanting to talk to her about it.

"Jesslyn?" The voice on the other side of the flap made her mouth go dry. "May I come in?"

Jittery nerves suddenly flooded her body. Stahl? What was he doing here? She clamped her hands together in her lap and said in her most stable voice, "Come in."

Whoever said distance could smooth over wounds was lying because the moment Stahl stepped into the tent with his boyish smile and perpetually disheveled hair and concerned eyes it made Jesslyn's heart melt all over again. Her hands twisted even tighter together and she asked, "Did you need something?"

"Uh, well..." his eyes darted quickly away, meandering to unimportant parts of her tent. That brought the flood of hurt back, stinging even deeper than before. Why was he here when he couldn't even look at her anymore? Just what was the point? If he was trying to prove that he wanted to still be friends, he was doing an incredibly poor job of it.

Jesslyn's molars clenched together and she said, "You can just ask me."

His gaze locked back on hers in surprise. "How did you know I wanted to ask you something?"

"Because you always scratch your nose right before you do."

Stahl pulled his hand from his face, looking at it in surprise. "Do I? Huh, I never realized."

"When you mentioned being able to read people based on their tells, I thought it was a useful skill to have," she said turning back to the book she'd placed on her table just to have something to fiddle with. "That was the first thing I noticed." Just like she noticed he always tousled his hair when he was self-conscious or that he tended to chew on his bottom lip when he was deep in thought and a myriad of other things about him.

"Oh. Well, I was just... I was wondering if anything was wrong. You've seemed distant."

She turned to him with an eyebrow raised, "I'm surprised you noticed," then winced the same time Stahl did. That came out far more accusatory than she intended. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"No, you're right. I haven't exactly made myself available to you lately." There went his hand through his hair again. "The thing is... there's been something I wanted to tell you for a while. Well, more like something I was afraid you'd noticed before I could figure out how to deal with it."

He shifted on his feet, looking more anxious with each second and Jesslyn turned to him fully, almost afraid that he'd break and run out of the tent completely. Then Stahl took in a deep breath and blurted out, "I-I think I'm in love with you."

It sounded like blood was suddenly rushing through Jesslyn's ears at light speed- she couldn't possibly have heard that right. "I'm sorry?" She forced passed a dry throat.

"I love you." He looked down, fiddling with the edges of his surcoat, sounding heartbreakingly small and miserable. "I can't stop thinking about you, wanting to be near you, to hold you and protect you. I know I'm not much, but I want to be worthy of you. I want to be someone you can depend on and love in return and I... I..."

"Stahl," she reached over and grabbed his hand and even that sent such a thrill through her that Jesslyn had to bite her lip. "Look at me." He did and the resignation in his eyes just made her want to cup his face in her hands and kiss him until he realized he was worth far more than he gave himself credit for. "Tell me what I'm feeling," and she willed the depths of her emotions into her face.

"You," his breath caught as if he were in awe. "You're happy. You love me, too."

"I do. I have for a while now. I'd been hoping you'd pick up on that but... you'd been avoiding my gaze, avoiding _me_ and I had assumed you just didn't return my feelings. So..."

"I'm sorry, I guess I just got bashful. Whenever I was around you I felt like I couldn't do anything but just stare at you. I didn't think you'd feel the same but then when you started avoiding me I realized that I couldn't bear the thought of you never knowing how important you are to me." His eyes never left hers, so warm and amazed and Jesslyn would've been happy to spend the rest of her life wrapped up in them. "I never imagined I was so important to you."

"I'll admit this last week when you were avoiding me, it was horrible. I never realized just how much comfort you gave me until then." Jesslyn stood and held his hands and he brought them to his chest to clasp them tight and it felt like he'd already given her everything she hadn't realized she wanted. "I am truly, deeply in love with you."

"And I you, my lady." His smile was devastating in its radiance. "I may never take my eyes off you again. Unless I'm about to run into a wall."

Jesslyn laughed, tucking her face against Stahl's shoulder, unable to imagine possibly being happier.

~*~*~*~

"Jessl'n. 'S your tent this time, right? Jeeeeeessssslyyyyn."

The flap flipped back and there, sure enough, was the woman of Stahl's dreams albeit looking a little more cross than usual. "How many tents have you stumbled into tonight? I thought Vaike and Gaius dragged you out drinking."

"They did!" Thank goodness there was a tree right in front of her tent because Stahl was feeling more than slightly dizzy and it wasn't just because he was in love with the most amazing person in the world. "'N was only... coupla tents." And there was not a survivable state of drunk that wouldn't allow him to be grateful that none of those had been Tharja's.

"It's not even midnight and you're all back already?" Jesslyn swept her bangs from her face. "I thought they were going to make it a proper guys' night out on account of Gaius being convinced you've become a sad, romantic sap since we've gotten together."

"Naw," Stahl flapped his hand errantly, "they're still out. But I was lookin' at the moon 'n thinkin' how pretty you are 'n here I am!"

"Here you are," she agreed. Gods, she was even more beautiful in person. Which Stahl knew because he saw her in person all the time but it just... suddenly hit him that even memory didn't do Jesslyn justice. With the way the dark draped about her, light from her tent giving her a halo, her hair loose around her shoulders, the way her lips shaped his name-

" _Stahl_."

He blinked back to reality, eager smile on his face. "Yus?"

"Naga's breath, Stahl- on a scale of how much will you be hating life tomorrow, how drunk are you?"

"T'morrow's gonna be absolute hell!" He chirped brightly.

"Dare I even ask how you got into this state? Or how you made it back here on your own in this state?"

"'S started with a rousing game of 'Will Stahl Drink It' which I wish Vaike'd stop tellin' people 'bout. I dun wanna puke inna middle of a march. Again."

Jesslyn sighed, somewhere between amused and resigned but looking gorgeous all the while. "I take it this is a game where basically people pour drinks down your throat unless you decline?"

"'Es. 'M kinda... not good at turnin' down things that might taste good. Or looks int'resting. Or someone wants me t' try." Stahl squinted as an epiphany wriggled its way through his alcohol addled brain. "'M not v'ry good with peer pressure."

"So I've gathered," she agreed.

"There was actually someth'in' I woul'n't drink this time! There's a bowl with a dead ven'mous snake inside 'n I thought it was jus' dec'ration but they ladle outta drink 'n I'm all fer tryin' new things but nonna that seemed like a good idea." He paused again in thought. "Might've drunk it inna end. Kinda lost track of what was goin' on. 'Specially when we los' Chrom."

" _YOU LOST-_ " Jesslyn bit her tongue and hissed out, " _You lost Chrom_??"

"Think he tried ta join th' tumblin' troupe we're watchin'. 'S a li'l fuzzy 'cept when I was thinkin' 'bout you."

"That explains why you're here," she said in a dry tone utterly lost in Stahl's current state, "and not still looking for Chrom."

"Vaike 'n Gaius're out there. They're better at the seedy... un'erground... stuff. 'N also Greg'r. N' Lon'qu."

She gaped. "You guys managed to drag _Lon'qu_ to a bar?"

Stahl bobbed his head in a nod. "Greg'r did. Had 'im un'er his arm an' ev'rything. Would'n drink, though. Gaius called 'im our desi... des... degnigated thinker." He belated remembered to stop nodding.

Jesslyn cupped a hand to her face and laughed quietly. "A designated thinker. And you still lost Chrom." She shook her head like she wasn't entirely certain which part of this story was the most absurd. "And of course you would be the happiest drunk in the land."

"Yup!" He beamed proudly. "'M veeeeerry happy."

"I suppose I should send someone into town, let them know you've made it back alright."

"Watch did that when I got back. 'S taken care of." He was tilting heavily to one side, body slowly deciding it no longer liked leaning against the tree. Jesslyn stared at him for a long moment before stepping to one side of her tent, the light spilling almost all the way to Stahl's feet.

"Would you like to come in?" She asked. "Before you fall completely over?"

"C-Come in?" He stammered back. "Right now? What'd people think?"

"Probably that we're not doing anything they know we haven't done before?" She chuckled a little, "But your virtue is safe tonight. You don't look like you're in much shape to do anything but fall asleep anyway. I just," even in the dark her blush was apparent, "may also be a sad romantic sap because I haven't seen you all day and reading in bed wrapped in your arms sounds really appealing right now."

Stahl gaped for a moment. "...that sounds fantastic." Jesslyn smiled and held out her hand to guide him toward her. He stumbled, slightly, into her arms and he was so content to just hold her that he didn't even notice as she walked them back into her tent, pulling the flap shut behind them.

She pulled back suddenly, wrinkling her nose. "I know I said your virtue is safe tonight, but you are not getting in my bedroll in those clothes- they absolutely reek. Did you fall into a lake after leaving the bar?"

Stahl looked down at himself, as if surprised to see his hems of his pants mud encrusted. "I was inna rice field 'n di'n't know where the others went. So I deci'ed to come back to you ins'ead."

Jesslyn just stared at him for a long, long moment until Stahl leaned in and placed a happy little kiss on the end of her nose. "I didn't want to ask this but I suppose I should: who did you see when you got back?"

"Saw Fredr'ck 'n he asked me how the night went 'n he wannsa talk in the morn'in'."

She sighed and begin the task of peeling sticky clothes off Stahl's overly pliable body. "When the others get back, they are going to _despise_ you."

~*~*~*~

"I was asked to bring your laundry since it seems you've been too busy to pick it up yourself."

Jesslyn looked up from her planning board, her eyebrows going up not so much at the bag of laundry over Stahl's shoulder as it was his state of undress. "If this is how my clothes get back to me," she said with audible appreciation, "I need to be busy more often."

Reflexively Stahl looked down at himself- shirtless, wet spots on his breeches clinging to his legs, damp hair curling at the ends- and laughed. "A bunch of us took the animals down to the stream to give them a little wash. Plegia's heat is just as bad for them as it is to us."

"And that's why you're wet all over?" She asked with roving eyes.

"A water fight may have started up at one point."

"I'm sorry I missed it," for a number of reasons, not all of which about wanting to be involved herself.

"In case of next time," with a flick of his shoulder, Stahl flipped the bag over and let it thump to the floor, "I suggest siding with the mages. They cheat." He stepped up behind Jesslyn's chair and pressed a kiss to her hair. "You keep working, I'll put your clothes away for you."

She couldn't help craning her head around, watching as Stahl bent over the bag. "I don't know. I think I may be too distracted to plan."

"Distracted with what?" He looked up to find Jesslyn staring hungrily at him and flushed deeply.

She chuckled deep in her throat as he tried to regain composure with folding one of her shirts. It just gave her ample opportunity to watch how his shoulders moved. "You're acting like no one's looked at you like this before."

He laughed somewhat awkwardly, hand running through his hair.

"No. I don't believe it."

"It's not really surprising," he said, as if just because he'd come to terms with that fact made it alright. "Compared to everyone around me, I'm really nothing special."

Jesslyn didn't know who those women were that used Stahl to get close to someone else and frankly she was stuck between wanting to light them on fire and thanking them for being utterly blind to such a quality man. "Well, they're missing out," she ended up saying because it was both the truth and she didn't feel like arguing how he wasn't nearly as unremarkable as he thought again. Instead she was lost in the sight of him folding her clothes, briefly hypnotized by the flex of his bicep, the way it rounded out and created all these eye-drawing shadows, the long lines running down his back, the twin dimples at the base of his spine just peeking out from under his breeches. Honestly there was very little of Stahl's body that Jesslyn wouldn't occasionally get caught up thinking about and it was a testament to both his metabolism and training that all he ever really had was some softness around his waist which, really, just made him all the more comfortable to lean on.

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to get bashful again."

Jesslyn paused, realized she'd paused in the middle of running her tongue over her lips and pulled it back into her mouth. "I honestly do not believe I'm the first person to look at you like this."

"Maybe not but you're the first that," he stumbled over his words, as if realizing what he was saying the moment it was too late to stop himself, "makes me feel like this."

Oh? "And what's that?"

"Like... I might lose control. Like I want to keep you to myself. Like I want to-" his eyes flickered over her, unwilling to settle in one place for too long, "...do improper things to you."

Jesslyn would be lying if she said the idea of sweet, considerate Stahl losing control because of her didn't give her a hot thrill and all the things that could fall under 'improper' just fanned the flame. Before she could stop herself she said, "What if I said I was okay with that?"

Stahl whipped his head around looking like he was sure he hadn't heard right. She just smiled back, dark and wanting and warming up to this train of thought more and more. "I have limits I'm sure," she kicked her legs out from under the table, letting her robe slip back from her knees indecently high, hinting that, in such hot weather, she was wearing little else. "But I look forward to seeing what those limits are with you." She was absolutely pleased to see that Stahl was having trouble drawing his eyes from the soft, pale skin of her inner thigh, tucked where she had one leg crossed over the other. At that moment she couldn't give a damn about her planning. "If you'd like perhaps we could discuss this in depth after dinner?"

"Right now there's only one thing I want to eat out," tumbled out of his mouth. Jesslyn's eyes grew wide and Stahl's jaw clicked shut, flushing all the way down to his shoulders as he hid his face in his hands, mumbling something along the lines of, "I'm never talking to Vaike again" into his palms.

A million thoughts flashed through Jesslyn's mind and they were mainly picturing what Stahl would look like between her legs, kissing his way down her body, what it would feel like to push against his mouth, to have his tongue rolling against her like he did with particularly tasty food and gods she'd never be able to watch him eat again without wanting to push him down and-

Powerful arms suddenly had her caged, Stahl loomed in close and, oh, what she must look like to put that rare spark in his eyes, dark and intense and ready to give her the world if she but said the word. "If my lady would like me to," his voice alone was like a Valflame igniting in her belly, "she need just ask."

Jesslyn wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. "Propriety is overrated."

~*~*~*~

The wedding was, to put simply, extravagant. Even more so than the exalt's had been because Chrom had felt it in bad taste to flaunt Ylisse's opulence so soon after the second war with Plegia. And also because Stahl and Jesslyn had been foolish enough to accept his offer to plan their wedding for them and he was determined to make sure it was befitting of their stations.

"I have a station?" Stahl asked him.

"Apparently the Shepherds act in the capacity of my Royal Guard and Jesslyn is considered one of my Generals," Chrom said. "Which means you both also get to wear ceremonial garb."

Which was a dead giveaway that Maribelle had become involved. Which then turned to what seemed like half the Shepherds joining in while the other half egged them on and the entire thing getting more extravagant by the day. Jesslyn had to spend most of her free time trying to reign the excessiveness into something a little more bearable while Stahl quietly built up a nervous breakdown. Which, inevitably, lead to him sitting half dressed while hugging a waste bin to his chest not an hour before the wedding began.

"I was expecting this," Sully said nonchalantly after having chased everyone else from the room when their attempts to cheer Stahl up rendered him mute with horror, "but did you really hafta do this so close to the deadline?"

Stahl glared balefully, unmoved by Sully's brand of sympathy.

She sighed, pushing up the decorative sleeves of her ceremonial coat before plopping down next to him, pulling the bin away with surprising gentleness. "I'm not good at this kinda emotional, reassuring crap- you know that. So I'm just gonna say what you said before _my_ wedding. I know what you're going through. You're wondering how you even got here in the first place, how someone so amazing even noticed you when you're just so... you. And you're afraid one day they'll realize how unextraordinary you are and they'll regret marrying you, come to resent you, hate you for all you'll never be and all the mistakes you'll make-"

"Okay," Stahl interrupted, "you can stop, I regret everything I said."

She grinned like an alligator, all teeth just waiting for the perfect moment to snap shut. "I told ya you would. At least you're not at the point where you gotta stick your head between your knees to keep from hyperventilating."

"I'm getting there."

Sully put a hand on Stahl's shoulder, rocking him gently to get his attention. "So lemme repeat the one thing you shouldn't regret saying to me: you know how Jesslyn is. You know she's not marrying you because of what you could be or who she wants you to be. She's marrying you because of who you _are_. She wouldn't do this out of pity- hell, she wouldn't have even given you a _chance_ out of pity. She saw something in you she can't live without. She loves you enough to want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of her life. _That_ is why she said yes. You know she's smart enough not to make a commitment like this if she had even the tiniest doubt in you or herself. So you keep being who you are because she wouldn't have agreed to be your wife if you didn't already make her happy."

Stahl looked up at her, expression still a little watery but infinitely more grounded than a moment ago. "Thanks, Sully."

When she smiled that time there was something almost soft in it. "Hey. You're the Panther to my Bull. I'll always have your back."

~*~*~*~

There, across the length of Grima's back, was the vessel he used to taunt them, Jesslyn's future self. Even with Naga's blessing coursing through her veins Jesslyn was shaking at the knowledge of what she was planning. The fell dragon kept tugging on the edge of her mind, trying to find some weakness to exploit control over her. She felt in her blood a brief lull about to come over the battlefield, when the vessel would raise her hand and summon the next wave of Risen. That would be the moment to strike. To kill Grima and herself with him and Jesslyn felt, for the briefest moment, her resolve waver and Grima suddenly had the tiniest handhold-

A hand gripped hers and Jesslyn gasped reflexively, being drawn back into herself and to Stahl's eyes, at her side where he'd been since he first realized what she had decided. He had asked her, mere hours after Naga reveled the extent of Jesslyn's connection to the fell dragon, if she was planning to sacrifice herself and she answered simply, "Yes."

Stahl, gods bless him, said, "Let me help you."

She had planned for him to be elsewhere. She had thought it too cruel to force him to watch her die, just as she thought his presence might cause her to buckle at the last moment. "You can't stop me," she said, more pleading than not. "And you can't try to sacrifice yourself with me."

"I won't." And she could see that it was the most painful thing in the world to promise, but he made it anyway. "I swore to be loyal to you, to honor you and to always be at your side no matter what happens. Let me help you."

His voice had broken. He knew exactly what he was asking to do and how could such a selfless man exist? How could Jesslyn be willing to crush such a beautiful, giving heart and leave him alone? Unable to swallow passed the knot deep in her throat, all she could do was nod.

He kissed her then. Hard, desperate, unable to let her go and she could taste tears- his, hers, perhaps both -on her tongue. Stahl pulled back just enough to whisper against her lips. "I'll wait however long it takes. Come back to me. Promise you'll come back to me. It's the only way I can do this."

She couldn't. She knew she couldn't. Naga herself doubted she'd survive and Jesslyn couldn't bear to lie, not to Stahl. She wanted to tell him to let her go, to move on with his life and find happiness in someone else. She wanted for him to remember her fondly without waiting indefinitely for someone who would likely never return. Instead she said, "An eternity wouldn't be enough time spent together. I don't want to leave you."

Stahl gripped her hands and held them to his chest, as if he were proposing all over again. "Then come back to me."

She sobbed and she pressed her face against the length of his neck. "I will. I promise."

Jesslyn could feel Grima screaming as the memory slammed him out of her mind. Somewhere someone was shouting her name, realizing what she was about to do. Stahl squeezed her hand and placed one last kiss to her knuckles. "I love you," he said, then turned to intercept Chrom before he got too close.

Determination burned fierce in Jesslyn's chest and, with sword in one hand, tome in the other, she charged at Grima's vessel.

~*~*~*~

The weeks that followed Grima's defeat were even more hectic than the days spent marching upon the fell dragon. Valm was still reeling from Walhart's invasion, Regna Ferox trying to recover from all its lost troops after two difficult campaigns, Plegia was in total disarray and all looked to Ylisse for aid. It took countless days of debate and intense discussion among Chrom and his closest advisers, Jesslyn's loss a sharp ache that washed over him anew every time he turned to address her only to remember she wasn't there. Every time that happened he'd shoot Stahl an apologetic but determined look and, if Stahl were honest, it actually made him feel a little better. Because he knew Chrom believed as much as he did that Jesslyn was alive somewhere, waiting to be found. Chrom believed this so much he made help searching for her a stipulation in giving aid to other countries.

Most didn't even need to be asked, Flavia and Basilio already sending scouts to all corners of Ferox, Say'ri and Tiki pooling their own resources and Anna spreading word to her sisters. Coordinating the search took nearly as much effort as coordinating aid and Stahl knew it was hardly coincidence that he was often tasked with guarding negotiations. Not when they usually ended with a map being pulled out and searching locations being discussed all where he could quietly observe and take mental notes for himself.

And when negotiations finally died down enough for the amount of guards in Ylisstol and the palace to be reduced, Chrom simply turned to Stahl with a smile and said, "Go."

~*~*~*~

"My Lord," a messenger said from the entrance of the Sun Drawing Room- so named because of the great walls of glass that encased most of it. "The main convoy from Valm has returned."

"Ah, good." Chrom plucked Lucina from Jesslyn's lap. Naga, he explained, returned the children to the future, their past and memories now altered because of Grima's destruction to one filled with peace. "You'll want to have your arms free for this."

"Of course." Every day since her return nearly a week prior had been filled with reunions from old friends and former Shepherds from across the land. Many of them introducing her to their children for a second time- young and tiny and happy.

She could hear, bouncing through the halls, Vaike's booming voice and Gregor's hearty shouts mixed in with, surprisingly, Cherche's mellow laughter. Jesslyn smiled, chest already warming at the thought of seeing them again-

She froze when the first person to darken the entrance was her husband.

She felt numb all over, like she'd fallen into a dream even though she'd never once imagined Stahl looking as he did; dressed in traveling leathers as opposed to full armor, jaw rough with stubble and hair reaching a previously unforeseen level of disheveled. She was barely able to choke out his name before he was there in her arms clutching her like she was the one thing that would keep the world from falling apart. Jesslyn held back just as tight, breathing in the dirt and sweat from days of travel, the scent of sun and horses and Stahl himself and everyone else in the room was forgotten as she started crying from how right this felt. As if being in Stahl's arms restructured the entire universe, pulling a heavy pressure off her chest.

His fingers dug into her shoulders, lips pressing trembling kisses to her hair, "I'm never taking my eyes off you again; walls be damned."


End file.
